An Interview with Agent 003

Agent 003 herself

Hello Ladies and Gentlespies! Today I have for you an interview with a real-to-goodness spy, the amazing *drum roll* Agent 003! (That's double-o-three, by the way).

Why did you become a secret agent?

A zertain spy, whoz name must remain a zecret, needed a zidekick. Zat is me. Pluz, I make an exzcellent spy!

What is the best thing about being a spy?

Zat is a very difficult queztion to anzwer, madam. Everyzing, everyzing. It iz all emm.. formidable. Yez, formidable!

What is the worst thing about being a spy?

Nozing, nozing, it iz all good...

(*aahem.. now zat da boz iz not looking, I shall tell zyou. Zey make me wear big, ugly, zunglazzez. Outrageouz!)

Have you ever had a terrifying spying moment?

Let me zink, my colleague walked into a zpider web onzce. It waz very terrifying for me. 

Do you like chocolate?

What shocolate? What shocolate??!! GIVE ME SHOCOLATE!!

What is your favorite animal? Does it have anything to do with spies? If so, why?

Horsez.

It could have zomething to do wiz spies, if, for example, zit was owned by a zpy. Or it waz a zpy itzelf!

Are you comfortable giving out this information?

Erm... most of ze questionz are reasonable, howezza, do I like shocolate, zat iz confidential.

Are you on a mission at the moment? If so, tell us all you can (no pressure).

Yez, yez, I am on a mizzion at ze moment! A mizzion to change ze world! Ha! Ha! I cannot give zyou anymore information zen zat, it is ztrictly confidential, madam.

Do you stay cool and calm in a dangerous situation? Or do you quietly panic?

Me?? Panicking, eh??  How dare zyou ask me dat!!! Who are zyou? Who do zyou fink zyou are???!!! Eh?? How dare zyou!!! How outrageous!!!!

But yez, I always stay cool and calm, alwayz, alwayz.

Who is your arch enemy?

A zertain Erich Von Stalhein. He inzulted me once and put my position in zerious jeopardy, by zaying I looked like a zpy!

Do you like roast chicken?

I zo not fanzy it. However, you tell me eat it, I eat it!

Do you think that question was random?

No, no, I do not zink zat. It was a very intelligent queztion, for who knowz, our suzpect could be a shicken in disguize!

Likewize, zat queztion could be a queztion in disguize. No, madam, ‘twaz a very senzible queztion. Indeed!

Do you  know many other spies/secret agents?

More zan you can imagine! Zo personally, I have met two.

Do you have anything else you would like to say?

 Zmile, Jesuz lovz you!

And, juz zo you know, I only zpeak like zis to conzeal my identity. A zpy’s true identity muz nezer, ezer be revealed.

Thank you terribly much, 003! 

Why, zank you very much, Agent 72! ‘Twaz a pleazure. :)