Showing posts with label Interviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Interviews. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Interviews: Agent 72




Goot evenin' lazies and gentle-zpies! Zis evening we have an interziew wiz ze marzelous.... ze wonderfullezt... ze co-founzer of 'ESF'...  ze one and only...  *zrum roll*... Azent 72!! 


Who or what, inspired you to become a spy?  Why, 'twas spies themselves, old sock! :D

Who was the first secret agent you ever met? Hmm. that's a difficult question, but I must say it was probably Tintin-  I've known that splendid chap for ages!

What is your name? Your REAL name?  Ah!  That is what, in your own words "muz nezer, ezer be revealed!"  Howezer-er, however, I will tell you this: secret it is indeed, hmmm!

Do you have a favourite book? I read too many books to have only ONE favorite, though one of the best I've read was Spies and How to Be One by Captain the Hon. Algernon Lacey*. I also love The Lord of the Rings and, of course, Biggles.  

If you were to be in a movie with a famous actor/actress, who would it be? The people from Sherwood pictures (Courageous etc.), or The Avengers, coz they are awesome.

[Thor] "Loki is my brother, and he is of Asgard."
[Black Widow] "He killed 80 people in two days."
[Thor] "...he's adopted."

[Audience] Quick!  Stop 'er before she starts on the Princess Bride!

Do you like cupcakes?  Rather! (That is, providing the icing is fluffy).

Do you want to eat cupcakes? Me like sugar.

What are your top three tips for successful spying? 1) Be discreet.  Meld in with the crowd.  Don't walk around dressed in black with a mask on- you're asking for questions.  It's also important to change not only how you look, but how you act.  If your enemies know you to be quiet, be loud and start chatting to them.  2)  Have a trustworthy companion 3) Don't eat to much cheese.  It isn't good for the constitution.  Instead, eat chocolate - it will help you on your journey.

Just how awesome are you? (On a scale of 1=10) Oh, I'd say eleven.  I mean, you can go beyond certain levels of so called "awesomeness" to get to a stage often called "angelic" "wonderful" "divinely good" etc. etc...  Of course, I don't give myself this rating: this is the rating of my peers.  Being humble, I don't pay any attention, but one must be honest, eh?

Have you read my book, "Humility: How I achieved it"? O yes.  Quite a splendid effort.  Of course, I didn't need to read it-- my humility is already far beyond usual human limitations, but I did enjoy seeing how YOU, dear girl, achieved your high rate of humility.

-ZA EZND-

* some could say that this book does not exist because Algy does not exist, but they are deluded.  


Friday, August 17, 2012

An Interview with Agent 003

Agent 003 herself
Hello Ladies and Gentlespies! Today I have for you an interview with a real-to-goodness spy, the amazing *drum roll* Agent 003! (That's double-o-three, by the way).

Why did you become a secret agent?

A zertain spy, whoz name must remain a zecret, needed a zidekick. Zat is me. Pluz, I make an exzcellent spy!

What is the best thing about being a spy?
Zat is a very difficult queztion to anzwer, madam. Everyzing, everyzing. It iz all emm.. formidable. Yez, formidable!

What is the worst thing about being a spy?
Nozing, nozing, it iz all good...
(*aahem.. now zat da boz iz not looking, I shall tell zyou. Zey make me wear big, ugly, zunglazzez. Outrageouz!)

Have you ever had a terrifying spying moment?
Let me zink, my colleague walked into a zpider web onzce. It waz very terrifying for me. 

Do you like chocolate?
What shocolate? What shocolate??!! GIVE ME SHOCOLATE!!

What is your favorite animal? Does it have anything to do with spies? If so, why?
Horsez.
It could have zomething to do wiz spies, if, for example, zit was owned by a zpy. Or it waz a zpy itzelf!

Are you comfortable giving out this information?
Erm... most of ze questionz are reasonable, howezza, do I like shocolate, zat iz confidential.

Are you on a mission at the moment? If so, tell us all you can (no pressure).
Yez, yez, I am on a mizzion at ze moment! A mizzion to change ze world! Ha! Ha! I cannot give zyou anymore information zen zat, it is ztrictly confidential, madam.

Do you stay cool and calm in a dangerous situation? Or do you quietly panic?
Me?? Panicking, eh??  How dare zyou ask me dat!!! Who are zyou? Who do zyou fink zyou are???!!! Eh?? How dare zyou!!! How outrageous!!!!
But yez, I always stay cool and calm, alwayz, alwayz.

Who is your arch enemy?
A zertain Erich Von Stalhein. He inzulted me once and put my position in zerious jeopardy, by zaying I looked like a zpy!

Do you like roast chicken?
I zo not fanzy it. However, you tell me eat it, I eat it!

Do you think that question was random?
No, no, I do not zink zat. It was a very intelligent queztion, for who knowz, our suzpect could be a shicken in disguize!
Likewize, zat queztion could be a queztion in disguize. No, madam, ‘twaz a very senzible queztion. Indeed!

Do you  know many other spies/secret agents?
More zan you can imagine! Zo personally, I have met two.

Do you have anything else you would like to say?
 Zmile, Jesuz lovz you!
And, juz zo you know, I only zpeak like zis to conzeal my identity. A zpy’s true identity muz nezer, ezer be revealed.

Thank you terribly much, 003! 
Why, zank you very much, Agent 72! ‘Twaz a pleazure. :)